I wish it felt as black and white as that,
and now I'm actually facing it.
It all just sounds really scary.
But what if I can’t work anymore and they get rid of me?
Everyone talks about how ill it makes you,
and you know, I'm worried what it will do to Graham and the boys.
He'll have to carry the whole family, me included.
I don't want to be constantly throwing up,
God it was bad enough when I was pregnant.
And now, I’ve bought the clippers
but I'm not even sure I'm ready to lose my hair anymore.
There's a lot to consider.
They said microscopic bits of cancer
can sometimes go undetected.
But what if –
what if there's not actually anything to detect?
Like, what if I'm already out of the woods
and I just put myself through chemo for nothing?