Sorry.
I just wanted to go somewhere quiet.
Not sure where to start really.
I think it's just hit me how life-changing
this stupid cancer is.
I mean,
it affects everything.
My marriage,
how I feel about myself,
it's affected my kids,
my family, work.
You can’t escape it.
So I guess it just got to the point where
I needed to switch off on something,
which is why I went AWOL on here like –
that was, like that was something I could control
and I just didn't want to think about anything
other than Graham and the kids for a bit.
Graham came with me to my results
and I had this feeling it wasn't going to be good news.
Basically, when they took out the lump,
they also removed some lymph nodes and they found
cancer cells in them,
which means I have to have another op
where they go back in and remove more.
So yeah, more surgery.
Then...
Then they started talking about chemo
and that –
that hit me like a ton of bricks
and it's like,
With every single thing that's thrown at me,
I'm moving
further and further into the un-
the unknown.
It’s really fucking hard.
It’s really hard.
It's hard
not to think about what might happen to me.
I'm just trying to concentrate on
getting through each day.